Acting Naughtier Than We Really Are

Alicia. 19. Adelaide

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"Come on, honey, this house is a fresh start for our family!"

- White dads in horror stories (via mashamorevna)

(Source: start-missing-everybody, via ajasminetoremember)

keepongaming:

last year i was eating in a fancy, large restaurant when i began to hear a rumble and the distant sound of people chanting ‘potassium, potassium’ and suddenly hundreds of people dressed as bananas flood this restaurant chanting potassium over and over and we were trapped there for a very long time because the bananas would not leave and they were everywhere

image
imagei wasn’t joking

(via ajasminetoremember)

(Source: chubbythecorgi, via ajasminetoremember)

crustified-again:

corgisandboobs:

thesuperjew:

The turtle cavalry is serious shit

"Onward, alligator steed!""I’m a crocodile.""Silence, water horse!"

The one in the back looks like it’s wearing a turtle for a hat

urbanclictionary:

why dont people have pizza parties anymore like hell yeah invite me over to your house to eat pizza and then i’ll leave that’s the shit i do like

(via ajasminetoremember)

pizza:

i always change my mind about everything except the password i have been using since i was 10

(via grazed-knuckles)

eatpussylivehappy:

I think you’re cute

cute as in I wanna hear what you sound like while experiencing an orgasm

(via grazed-knuckles)

"His voice reminded me of poetry and sex."

- Francesca Lia Block (via kitty-en-classe)

(via is-h)

(Source: teaswift, via nm4dancinb4uidid)

(Source: rncpriceley, via thefuuuucomics)

findingnikko:

this cracks me up
kimikomuffin:

ok I was going to reblog this anyway
and then the one in the middle

(Source: arrtpop, via ajasminetoremember)

awesomephilia:

i think dogs have elevator music playing in their heads at all times

(Source: dutchster, via ajasminetoremember)